I do not understand Valentines Day. I just don't get it. It's not because I'm single that I'm saying this. I did not understand it even back when I was in a serious, committed relationship.
In the interest of full disclosure, I admit that I'm not much into celebrations; but still, I at least understand the point of most celebrations. I just find Valentine's day to be utterly pointless.
I know that originally Valentine's day just meant celebrating St. Valentine, usually with a feast. I think I can safely say that's not what happens now. Times change, interpretations change and I accept the current one; My issue is not with that. I do believe that the whole affair is designed to increase revenue for specific businesses and I do have a little issue with that, but that's not why I'm writing this.
As I understand, the festival is about celebrating romantic relationships; And that is exactly what I don't get; how the heck do you celebrate a relationship. Celebrations usually are centered around an event or a value/ethic/moral. Celebrations either have a social significance (bringing neighbors or family members closer, preventing the society from disintegrating due to cold relationships) or a personal one (a reminder of some personal values or life lessons). The good ones have a fair amount of both. All celebrations have at least some part of either of these.
I was tempted to categorise Valentine's as having a social significance but I think to call a romantic relationship social does not make sense; after all, it involves no more than 2 people exclusively (Let's just ignore polyamory. It's too rare anyway.).
I tried to then think of it as a reminder of romance and its value; after all people do celebrate marriage anniversaries. But then I realised that they celebrate the commitment to care for each other, known as marriage, and reminding the participants that the commitment they made holds greater value than the issues they may face in their relationship. Romance is not about commitment. Romance is about... enjoying someone; enjoying their stories; enjoying their laughter; enjoying their beauty; enjoying their identity; enjoying their existence.
Romance is not something to be understood or be reminded of. I tried to think how can one truly celebrate romance and I think it can only be celebrated by romancing someone. But you do not set a schedule for romance; It is made up of small gestures and heartfelt flatterings sprinkled throughout meetings and interactions of lovers.
You celebrate romantic love by practicing it regularly. If you do not, then why are you celebrating? If you romance someone on a regular basis, then what are you celebrating?
Sorry, I just got a bit poetic towards the end. What I basically want to say is that romance is too fleeting to schedule a celebration for and too abstract to celebrate its concept. So, I really don't get Valentine's day.
In the interest of full disclosure, I admit that I'm not much into celebrations; but still, I at least understand the point of most celebrations. I just find Valentine's day to be utterly pointless.
I know that originally Valentine's day just meant celebrating St. Valentine, usually with a feast. I think I can safely say that's not what happens now. Times change, interpretations change and I accept the current one; My issue is not with that. I do believe that the whole affair is designed to increase revenue for specific businesses and I do have a little issue with that, but that's not why I'm writing this.
As I understand, the festival is about celebrating romantic relationships; And that is exactly what I don't get; how the heck do you celebrate a relationship. Celebrations usually are centered around an event or a value/ethic/moral. Celebrations either have a social significance (bringing neighbors or family members closer, preventing the society from disintegrating due to cold relationships) or a personal one (a reminder of some personal values or life lessons). The good ones have a fair amount of both. All celebrations have at least some part of either of these.
I was tempted to categorise Valentine's as having a social significance but I think to call a romantic relationship social does not make sense; after all, it involves no more than 2 people exclusively (Let's just ignore polyamory. It's too rare anyway.).
I tried to then think of it as a reminder of romance and its value; after all people do celebrate marriage anniversaries. But then I realised that they celebrate the commitment to care for each other, known as marriage, and reminding the participants that the commitment they made holds greater value than the issues they may face in their relationship. Romance is not about commitment. Romance is about... enjoying someone; enjoying their stories; enjoying their laughter; enjoying their beauty; enjoying their identity; enjoying their existence.
Romance is not something to be understood or be reminded of. I tried to think how can one truly celebrate romance and I think it can only be celebrated by romancing someone. But you do not set a schedule for romance; It is made up of small gestures and heartfelt flatterings sprinkled throughout meetings and interactions of lovers.
You celebrate romantic love by practicing it regularly. If you do not, then why are you celebrating? If you romance someone on a regular basis, then what are you celebrating?
Sorry, I just got a bit poetic towards the end. What I basically want to say is that romance is too fleeting to schedule a celebration for and too abstract to celebrate its concept. So, I really don't get Valentine's day.
Nice post, I agree with your argument that "romance is too fleeting to schedule a celebration for and too abstract to celebrate its concept". Mostly, I think its like 'Christmas/Diwali' for greeting card ,flowers, "cheesy gift" manufacturers.
ReplyDeleteP.S. If possible, use a different font next time, something kinder to the eyes, this one is too harsh.
Nice read bro !
ReplyDeleteAnd for the Valentine's day, I think it is best to give it our own meaning. Include every single person who cares about your well being, rather than dedicating it to one just person. Love is obviously not developed in a day. But you can surely bring people closer by the expression of love. What harm does one special day does to this ? All I want to say is that it is up to you to make this day useful or useless.